So it’s Friday and the weekend is approaching. A weekend packed with sporting traditions, The Grand National and the boat race. Should it be allowed though? No one could deny that it’s a tough gruelling event. An event that is designed to test limits to the full. A sporting institution but not one without its detractors. As usual at this time of year we have to ask is it humane?

I think if we are honest with ourselves, despite all the tradition, the only answer is no. On living creature on this planet should have to go through this. No, in interests of sporting decency the boat race should be removed from our TV screens. Coach potatoes shouldn’t be put through the torment of watching an advanced version of pooh sticks in the vein hope that at least one, preferable two of the boats sink.

I propose the two courses are switched. Well okay teaching the horses to row might prove a little tricky, but they could fulfil the role of the cox from the riverbank. Horses could shout from the river bank encouragement such as “Come on you little dwarf, how do you like have to do all the work for once, just be grateful I cant kick you from over here”

The real fun however would be at Aintree as the oxford and Cambridge crews try to themselves and their boats around the course. If Stuart Hall could be persuaded to do the commentary it would also resurrect the tradition of Its-a-knockout. Stuart could commentate in glee as the cox struggles to overcome each fence. Enduring fall after fall before turning to a larger crew member and muttering, “I cannots makes it, you will have to toss me” before adding, “just don’t tell the elf”

So it will never happen, but I can just wish…