I think my attempts to make a cheesecake today were passable. But then again I thought my chocolate mousse was a good attempt. That was until Maria came home and asked what the brown spots all over the cupboard doors were. She did like the crushed digestive biscuits coated in melted white chocolate but comment it would have been better to break them up again after they had set. Instead our guest had the pleasure of eating of a smooth mousse before crashing into a solid rock of chocolate. Oh well I have failed cooking before and I will fail again, maybe if I try hard enough I will be relegated back to washing up duties.

Tomorrow is Valborg. The time where Swedes light bonfires to celebrate the coming of spring and to scare the nasty dark spirits back into the forest. We will go up to the mine, sorry world heritage mine; the locals will get upset if I don’t call it by its new title. Watch the fireworks and ignore the speeches.

Local photo of the week

Managed to go for my third run of the week today. Just my usual 5km lap around the lake, but it all adds up. I want to at least try to have 3 runs each week and hopefully then I will start to notice some improvement. Managed to avoid the rain and a friend that had come to see Maria. With the risk of sounding mean I was quite glad. I didn’t have the energy to speak too much Swedish. Although later in the day I was quite chuffed to discover another Swede I had been talking to in a chatroom believed I was a "proper" Swede. Whether this was because my Swedish was reasonable, or my english appalling I haven’t decided.

Training Summary

Running total: This week 18.08 km Year to date 30.66km Cycling total: This week 40.4km Year to date 117.4km

I have tried sleeping but in the middle of the day I just can’t do it. Instead I think I will just walk around like a zombie for a while. At least the stock take didn’t cause any problems other than having to get up at 5 this morning and the bar-code on a packet of peanuts not scanning properly. I think it was put there just to wind me up. The smell of salted peanuts did nothing for me. Neither did the silly little picture of a butler holding a silver tray with a small bowl of peanuts seating on top of it. I mean who has a butler these days, certainly not someone who shops in a low price supermarket. I think I will go watch some day time television, maybe I will be able to sleep after all.

I still don’t really feel as if I am with the rest of the world at the moment. I am away somewhere in a floaty haze of tiredness which is making everything feel twice as hard as it should. To make it worse I have another early morning start tomorrow for a stock take. Easy work and easy money, but it still means I have to drag myself out of bed at an unearthly hour. At least they provide breakfast. Noticed today that they filled in the large pothole I managed to cycle into yesterday. It’s been there months and they fill it in the day after I caused myself a certain level of pain. I know I knew it was there and should have been ready for it, but lack of sleep does something to eliminate logical thinking.

Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out for a midday run. I am tired, dopey and have little enthusiasm to do much at all today. Maria has gone to work for the morning shift and I have yet to hear if I will be expected at the factory this afternoon. In an attempt to get myself moving and not just moup around the apartment all day I took myself out for a short run. My legs didn’t want to, I didn’t really want to either, but I thought it was for the best. I seriously underestimate the weather. Sweden has bypassed warm and gone straight to hot. Too hot for a comfortable mid day run anyway. It was hard work but I had it around the lake. Probably a mistake to have gone out today but one I hope to make again and again. Forever plodding onwards.

Its amazing how easy it is to manipulate the male of our species. Ever since I have worked at the factory they have had a machine to clean the floor that would make a Lada look stylish. I think they bought the buggy from the children’s television programme chock-a-block, attached a vacuum cleaner, and a beast was born. But it did the job and did it well. That is it would have. If anyone actually used it apart from one lady who gudgeingly operated this design horror each week despite it not being part of her job.

Now the fellas are queuing up to clean the floor. People that a week ago didn’t know one end of a broom from the other are now wanting to do the cleaning. It might even turn nasty. The reason for this abrupt change of attitude? A new machine that looks more like a snowmobile. It goes slower, is less movable than the previous, and doesn’t do the job any better, but it looks ”cool”. The name on the request form for new equipment? My assumption would be the lady who instead of sighing at the end of the week now has a large smirk on her face.

The cute things kids say... I know I usually complain about the little brats that sometimes plague me while I am out and about delivering leaflets. However today it proved it doesnt always have to be annoying. A shy little 4 year old lad came up and stood patiently by my cart until I returned. Hello, he said. Hello I returned, expecting the usualy comment "Are you postman Per?" However he surpised me with " Can I have one of those, I know where I live"

Training Summary Last week I didnt manage much running. Work called most of the week so I have been cycling instead. Therefore I am still very much in the North of Scotland in my virtuall tour from John O'Groats to Lands End. Hopefully I can get some more runs in this Week. Week 17 Running total: 12.5 km Cycling total: 77km

A new 5km PB ! Somehow after a week of cycling to work and on slightly tired legs, I somehow managed a new personal best. I didn’t just shave a few seconds of it. I smashed it! 64 seconds sliced off to a new time of 24 mins 5 seconds. Now how am I going to feel cycling to and from work? Didn’t think about that one now did I?

Local photo of the week

Congrats to Pam and Chris who both completed the London Marathon in a time of 5:57:36. At the start of the week I managed a couple of runs.Once around the lake and on Tuesday a run in the hilly nature reserve. It was good to get back onto the more interesting running trails, but I had forgoten how hilly the reserve is. Despite being a circular route, I swear it had more uphills than downhills.

I am a bad son
I returned home tonight to find an angry sounding message on the answerphone. It was from my mother, and she wasnt best pleased. It seems for 2 hours she was in a tiz because of an email from her workplace with regard to access this site while at work. For some reason it didnt occur to her that; (1) The sender was myself (2) Owing to point one it was full of spelling errors and typos (3) I had the hospital name wrong (4) and finally how many managers sign off their emails "with the usual disregard - your big bosses". We had planed to have a break in England at the start of May. Due to recent death threats I am having second thoughts.

Swedes are ”Conflict-afraid”, that means at the sight of an argument they will generally shirk away from the problem. That is unless you are delivering leaflets through their letterbox. Then you would think they have just had a bomb posted into their home. I could understand it if everybody had the same rubbish posted to them regardless. However there is a clear system, if you dont want the stuff, place a little sticker on your letterbox saying so. Simple. I have been doing this too long. While I have been delivering I have heard the following moans at least once, generally more frequently.

1. I don’t want this rubbish.

2. (Them) Where are my leaflets ?
(Me) Have you checked your postbox ?
(Them) No.. but…
(Me) Generally just a sigh – after all I am a trainee Swede and therefore conflict afraid.

3. (Them)Look at the mess you have made on my doormat
(Me) Sorry, Would you like me to take them back?
(Them) No, but I don’t want them to fall on my doormat in this manner!
(Me) Generally just a sigh – after all I am a trainee Swede and therefore conflict afraid.

4. (Old lady) Would you wait there a moment? At which point she proceeds to sort the small pile of leaflets she has just received. Then returns them into my hands.
(Me) Do you know there is a sticker you ca….
(Old Lady) Would you wait there a moment? And she disappears inside to return with a huge pile of leaflets from god knows how long ago, dumps them in my hands, and closes the door.
(Me) Just a sigh and stunned silence.

The children you meet out and about while delivering can be just as annoying. Are you a postman ? Are you Postis Per ? They chirp while dancing around your legs and basically get in the way. I tend to only say yes, explaining the fundamental differences between a respectable job with full pension rights and a not even glorified paper round would be wasted on them. Sigh, today was not one of the better days.

Swedish Etiquette for beginners - Part two Don't ever tell ethnic jokes. Even if its OK where you come from to tell jokes about germans or people from Togo it's an absolute no-no in Sweden. Noboby will laugh, and people will give you looks to let you know they think you are a heartless nazi. or - even worse - people might laugh, which means that you will give them a bad conscience and ensure sleepless nights for weeks to come. These days in Sweden, racism is the strongest taboo that you can break. Unless, of course, the joke concerns Norwegians.

It has been another energy sapping week. I dont remember it taking this much effort to cycle to work last year. At the end of the day my legs feel like jelly and if it wasnt for the careful positioning of the bed I could end up with a few broken bones. With that in mind I havent managed much running this week. A token 15 min jog during lunch on Monday. Well everyone is tapering for the London marathon this weekend, so why cant I ? I expect i will watch it on the telly anyway.
I have been working extra all of this week. The boss has phoned each day and asked if I can come in an hour extra. What this actually means is I get there, do 10 mins actual work and then everyone basically stands around and chats until the shift changes. Management slightly out of touch I think. Work is still ongoing on the template for this site. I think I am getting there, but would someone please test the comments sections, it looks so pathetic with "no comments" eveywhere !

Local photo of the week

Swedish Etiquette for Beginners - Part one - Dont buy drinks to a Swede. he or she does not expect it anyway, and chances are minimal that the favour will be returned. If you are a man, a woman might feel intimidated and a man might think that you are gay.What you can do:tell everyone in the bar that where you come from, people normally do buy drinks. Chances are that a Swede wih a desperate urge to feel cosmopolitan will buy you a drink anyway - then you can study his face for traces of agony and despair that torments every Scandinavian who buys liqour to anyone but himself.

Finally after changing my template time after time i think I am happy with this one. Apart from the main text which needs a little bit of work I think its looking quite good. At least now I can have some time to write some posts rather than just fiddle around with code !

I will wake up in a minute… honest
This week has been a blur of tiredness and odd jobs. Getting up early (on most days) cycling to work. Working in a daze lifting blocks of paper around, before repeating the cycle ride in reverse. I say I have been getting up early on most days, because on Thursday I didn’t. I was awoken by the sound of the newspaper thudding on the doormat. My first thought was the paperboy is early. It didn’t occur to me that it was I that was late. I have never got up so quickly. I managed to jump out of bed; landing in my trousers left from the night before, Pulled on a jumper and was out of the door. By the time I arrived my thighs felt like jelly and I wondered if I would last the day. So before you ask. No I didn’t manage any running this week… I think I am a running fraud.

The chair has arrived.
I am sure you know those magazines where you collect a part each week to compete a collection. But did you know Ikea did the same thing with their furniture? Having brought a chair a few weeks back we had assumed we would be able to assemble it once we returned home. How silly of us! No when you get home you have to phone up and report the missing parts. Oh well these things happen, anyone can make a mistake cant they? We will just wait the 10 days and we will have are chair. Ohh there I go being silly again! Once the next package arrives you notice they have managed to forget something else. ”ohh I am ever so sorry, we will have the screws and metal poles out to you in the post tonight”. Hmmm okay, my now specious mind was thinking, we will see. The postman arrived the day after next with a package. Okay I was wrong to be so cynical, the lady hadn’t lied at all, I thought as I opened the parcel and the contents fell out. Or should I say the screws. The poles? They could take up to 10 days! But that’s all in the past now, we have everything we need, and the chair is now assembled… I am not sure I like it anymore.

All work and no play....
...makes James a bad runner. I have been lucky enough to have work all this week. The morning shift. I am rudely woken by my inconsiderate alarm clock 4.45 each morning. After a dozy bike ride there, a days work and the cycle back, I have little energy left for a run. Must try harder.

No need to phone

This week I had no weekly call from the folks back in England. Apparently there is no longer a need. We read all we want to know on here , they say. Fair enough. I am all for saving money. So if you will all bear with me, I have a few messages for the folks back home. Maria is pregnant, we have to move out of our flat after falling behind in the payments and I am suspect of stealing all the red jelly babies from the local supermarket. Its good to talk.

Friday
Spring has arrived ! It was only a week ago I was constantly moaning about the snow. Out of nowhere the temperatures have jumped up to 11 degrees, clear skies and sun ! Sheer bliss. Of course the snow is still hanging around, but we can gloss over that. Instead of having to wrap up warm to go for a run I was able to go out in a T-shirt and shorts. My residents permit is renewed every year however, so I decided to play it safe and keep my knees covered up.
Sweden is a great country to run in. They ( or should I say we?) have cycle paths the size of small English country roads everywhere. The downside of this is that I hardly ever run the same route twice. Great for variety but next two impossible for comparison and to check for signs of improvement. Today was one of my better days, where sections of path were added to my route. Pace and distance putting up. Spring is a wonderful time.
The joys of delivering junk mail

I must have been out of my head. Why oh why did I say I would deliver an extra district this weekend? I always say I won’t do anymore, but end up getting suckered in. The money is next to non-existent compared to the effort required. The hassle from the locals is irrational to say the least. But yet I still continue. I suppose I could call it cross training. Plodding up flight of stairs one after another must be good for the leg muscles after all. But then wouldn’t it better if I went for a run ? Probably. I don’t think I will do any extra rounds.

Idiots and chat rooms

After our numerous reformats realaudio player has yet to be re installed. I had no option but to follow the Ipswich Town game in the chat room. I would normally listen to the commentary on radio Suffolk and wouldn’t have to put up with these idiots. Today they were entertaining themselves by chanting online. The same lousy song on and on, over and over again. But if we stop, they wont score they bleated. To think some people claim football fans have no brains.